| Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing
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| | like watching a movie being projected a
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| to break the fall. I've got to switch
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| | few feet in front of me. During the first
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| channels. I don't like my chances on this
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| | second of my descent into the abyss, I
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| station. Infused with youthful caprice, I
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| | re-experienced every major positive event
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| mused to myself about my predicament.
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| | of my life in full, living color,
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| Enjoying the intense body rush of
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| | including all the emotional and physical
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| imminent danger, I was torn between
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| | sensations of each incident. I re-lived
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| prolonging the joy-terror and searching
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| | every significant birthday party, picnic,
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| for an escape from my imminent demise.I'd
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| | vacation, romantic date, school honor,
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| been in similar dire situations before
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| | sports achievement and family celebration
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| and I'd always evaded the worst. How did
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| | of my short life. This vivid,
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| I get out of danger before? Quick, you
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| | comprehensive review was very rich and
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| idiot, think! You don't have all day!The
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| | satisfying. Considering my precarious
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| impending disaster pumped my
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| | situation, an incongruous aura of calm
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| adrenaline-and my memory. I let go, I
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| | and fulfillment swept over me.The
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| reminded myself. That's what I did in
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| | flashback ended as abruptly as it began.
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| past situations. I just let go of having
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| | Suddenly, I was acutely aware of being
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| to control the whole thing. I released my
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| | suspended in time and space between the
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| need to be right about how life operates.
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| | life review and the next moment of
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| I allowed the picture to change. That's
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| | present time-me in the midst of my slide
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| when circumstances shifted and something
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| | down the cliff. During that seemingly
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| unexpected, seemingly impossible,
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| | eternal moment, the realization hit me
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| occurred. Let the channel switch, Keith!
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| | like a ten-ton boulder: I don't want to
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| I coached myself into letting go into
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| | die! A wave of acute appreciation flooded
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| safety once again. Averting the most
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| | over me. I love life. I want to continue
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| probable outcome, I robbed death of its
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| | exploring what life has to offer. I
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| prey yet another time.Yes, rather
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| | remember whispering to myself, I want to
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| unceremoniously, I was reminded of the
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| | live, as if one part of me were informing
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| natural malleability of the physical
| |
| | another part of me.Then, swoosh! I
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| universe by a six-hundred-foot free fall
| |
| | plummeted into the vast emptiness beneath
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| straight down a sheer cliff. The threat
| |
| | me. Some alert, unknown aspect of my
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| of a perilous plunge into empty space
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| | being spontaneously yelled to Cheryl,
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| re-impressed on my young mind the lessons
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| | "Lie flat! Relax! Let go!" Hearing the
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| I learned in similar predicaments: go
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| | words that came unbidden from within me,
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| with the slide on the ice rink, relax
| |
| | I, too, obeyed, and consciously chose to
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| into the tackle in football and turn
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| | surrender to the inevitable.I don't
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| toward the skid in the car. Now I call it
| |
| | remember anything after that decision,
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| "the decision to surrender." Back then, I
| |
| | including what logically should have been
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| called it "just letting go."I was
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| | a very abrupt and painful landing. All I
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| fourteen. My girlfriend Cheryl and I
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| | know is, Cheryl and I were suddenly
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| decided to go for a hike down a
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| | sitting in the stream at the bottom of
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| precipitous gorge in upstate New York. We
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| | the gorge where the current formed a
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| had most of the crisp spring day to play
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| | small pool. Although the water in the
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| before reporting to work as dinnertime
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| | pool had turned crimson with our blood,
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| servers at a local restaurant. The trail
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| | neither of us was experiencing any aches
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| was winding and steep. Three hours later,
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| | or discomfort. The bleeding came from
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| we arrived at the bottom of the granite
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| | small, razor-thin cuts all over the
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| and shale canyon.After spending an
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| | fronts of our bodies. But we had no
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| afternoon swimming in the rippling
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| | broken bones, bruises or other injuries.
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| stream, it dawned on us we didn't have
| |
| | It was as if the only purpose of the
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| enough time to hike back up the
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| | scratches was to remind us that, yes,
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| zigzagging trail to the top and get to
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| | indeed, we had just gone free falling
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| work on time. We concluded we could still
| |
| | down a six-hundred-foot cliff.After a
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| make it back to our job deadline if we
| |
| | short period of wonderment, we
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| climbed straight up the vertical
| |
| | practically danced up the long,
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| cliff.Ascending the steep cliff turned
| |
| | circuitous trail to the top of the gorge.
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| out to be quite easy. Protruding from the
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| | We were so thankful-and simply happy to
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| sheer granite wall were small rock ledges
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| | be alive, in one piece and being given a
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| as easy to climb up as rungs on a ladder.
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| | second chance. The climb was
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| Within thirty minutes we were twenty feet
| |
| | effortless.Crisis. Emergency.
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| from the top. We would have been home
| |
| | Danger.These threats to my well-being
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| free, except that the previous night's
| |
| | were my early teachers. From these
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| rain had soaked the soil near the crest,
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| | seeming enemies, I learned that when
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| loosening the shale ledges. As we neared
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| | faced with an expected outcome I don't
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| the top, each time we placed a foot or
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| | like, I have an option. I can open to an
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| hand on the next rock outcropping, the
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| | alternative scenario, another framework,
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| shale broke away from the cliff. Very
| |
| | a different set of rules. I jokingly call
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| quickly, we found ourselves frantically
| |
| | my ploy "switching channels." It's an apt
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| moving our hands and feet from one shelf
| |
| | metaphor. I simply let go of my old way
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| to another, searching for something solid
| |
| | of viewing the world and allow a fresh
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| to support us in order to clamber up the
| |
| | perspective to emerge-or not! After all,
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| last few feet to safety.With total panic
| |
| | when we truly let go, anything can
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| on her face, Cheryl looked over at me-a
| |
| | happen! More often than not, however, I
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| silent plea for guidance screaming over
| |
| | find myself shifted to a new reality-a
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| the space between us. I didn't know what
| |
| | different station with a new story line
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| to do next. I had no answers. Like her,
| |
| | that has a much better ending! This is
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| I'd also run out of ledges within reach
| |
| | the stuff of miracles and alchemy.(c)
|
| to grasp. I felt myself beginning to
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| | 2004, Keith Varnum. All rights in all
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| slide down the cliff.Suddenly, my whole
| |
| | media reserved.
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| life flashed in front of my eyes! It was
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| |
|