| Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break | | | | eyes! It was like watching a movie being |
| the fall. I've got to switch channels. I don't like my | | | | projected a few feet in front of me. During the |
| chances on this station. Infused with youthful | | | | first second of my descent into the abyss, I |
| caprice, I mused to myself about my | | | | re-experienced every major positive event of my |
| predicament. Enjoying the intense body rush of | | | | life in full, living color, including all the emotional and |
| imminent danger, I was torn between prolonging | | | | physical sensations of each incident. I re-lived |
| the joy-terror and searching for an escape from | | | | every significant birthday party, picnic, vacation, |
| my imminent demise.I'd been in similar dire | | | | romantic date, school honor, sports achievement |
| situations before and I'd always evaded the | | | | and family celebration of my short life. This vivid, |
| worst. How did I get out of danger before? | | | | comprehensive review was very rich and |
| Quick, you idiot, think! You don't have all day!The | | | | satisfying. Considering my precarious situation, an |
| impending disaster pumped my adrenaline-and my | | | | incongruous aura of calm and fulfillment swept |
| memory. I let go, I reminded myself. That's what | | | | over me.The flashback ended as abruptly as it |
| I did in past situations. I just let go of having to | | | | began. Suddenly, I was acutely aware of being |
| control the whole thing. I released my need to be | | | | suspended in time and space between the life |
| right about how life operates. I allowed the picture | | | | review and the next moment of present time-me |
| to change. That's when circumstances shifted and | | | | in the midst of my slide down the cliff. During that |
| something unexpected, seemingly impossible, | | | | seemingly eternal moment, the realization hit me |
| occurred. Let the channel switch, Keith! I coached | | | | like a ten-ton boulder: I don't want to die! A wave |
| myself into letting go into safety once again. | | | | of acute appreciation flooded over me. I love life. |
| Averting the most probable outcome, I robbed | | | | I want to continue exploring what life has to |
| death of its prey yet another time.Yes, rather | | | | offer. I remember whispering to myself, I want |
| unceremoniously, I was reminded of the natural | | | | to live, as if one part of me were informing |
| malleability of the physical universe by a | | | | another part of me.Then, swoosh! I plummeted |
| six-hundred-foot free fall straight down a sheer | | | | into the vast emptiness beneath me. Some alert, |
| cliff. The threat of a perilous plunge into empty | | | | unknown aspect of my being spontaneously yelled |
| space re-impressed on my young mind the | | | | to Cheryl, "Lie flat! Relax! Let go!" Hearing the |
| lessons I learned in similar predicaments: go with | | | | words that came unbidden from within me, I, too, |
| the slide on the ice rink, relax into the tackle in | | | | obeyed, and consciously chose to surrender to |
| football and turn toward the skid in the car. Now I | | | | the inevitable.I don't remember anything after that |
| call it "the decision to surrender." Back then, I | | | | decision, including what logically should have been a |
| called it "just letting go."I was fourteen. My | | | | very abrupt and painful landing. All I know is, |
| girlfriend Cheryl and I decided to go for a hike | | | | Cheryl and I were suddenly sitting in the stream |
| down a precipitous gorge in upstate New York. | | | | at the bottom of the gorge where the current |
| We had most of the crisp spring day to play | | | | formed a small pool. Although the water in the |
| before reporting to work as dinnertime servers at | | | | pool had turned crimson with our blood, neither of |
| a local restaurant. The trail was winding and steep. | | | | us was experiencing any aches or discomfort. |
| Three hours later, we arrived at the bottom of | | | | The bleeding came from small, razor-thin cuts all |
| the granite and shale canyon.After spending an | | | | over the fronts of our bodies. But we had no |
| afternoon swimming in the rippling stream, it | | | | broken bones, bruises or other injuries. It was as |
| dawned on us we didn't have enough time to hike | | | | if the only purpose of the scratches was to |
| back up the zigzagging trail to the top and get to | | | | remind us that, yes, indeed, we had just gone |
| work on time. We concluded we could still make it | | | | free falling down a six-hundred-foot cliff.After a |
| back to our job deadline if we climbed straight up | | | | short period of wonderment, we practically |
| the vertical cliff.Ascending the steep cliff turned | | | | danced up the long, circuitous trail to the top of |
| out to be quite easy. Protruding from the sheer | | | | the gorge. We were so thankful-and simply happy |
| granite wall were small rock ledges as easy to | | | | to be alive, in one piece and being given a second |
| climb up as rungs on a ladder. Within thirty | | | | chance. The climb was effortless.Crisis. |
| minutes we were twenty feet from the top. We | | | | Emergency. Danger.These threats to my |
| would have been home free, except that the | | | | well-being were my early teachers. From these |
| previous night's rain had soaked the soil near the | | | | seeming enemies, I learned that when faced with |
| crest, loosening the shale ledges. As we neared | | | | an expected outcome I don't like, I have an |
| the top, each time we placed a foot or hand on | | | | option. I can open to an alternative scenario, |
| the next rock outcropping, the shale broke away | | | | another framework, a different set of rules. I |
| from the cliff. Very quickly, we found ourselves | | | | jokingly call my ploy "switching channels." It's an |
| frantically moving our hands and feet from one | | | | apt metaphor. I simply let go of my old way of |
| shelf to another, searching for something solid to | | | | viewing the world and allow a fresh perspective |
| support us in order to clamber up the last few | | | | to emerge-or not! After all, when we truly let go, |
| feet to safety.With total panic on her face, Cheryl | | | | anything can happen! More often than not, |
| looked over at me-a silent plea for guidance | | | | however, I find myself shifted to a new reality-a |
| screaming over the space between us. I didn't | | | | different station with a new story line that has a |
| know what to do next. I had no answers. Like | | | | much better ending! This is the stuff of miracles |
| her, I'd also run out of ledges within reach to | | | | and alchemy.(c) 2004, Keith Varnum. All rights in all |
| grasp. I felt myself beginning to slide down the | | | | media reserved. |
| cliff.Suddenly, my whole life flashed in front of my | | | | |