| As Presidential music plays in the background, an | | | | to take steroids when the rules of the game |
| announcer alerts the crowd by saying: | | | | don't reward the unjust advantages that some |
| "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United | | | | have over others. If we eliminate these inequities, |
| States!" | | | | there will be no need for players to seek |
| The crowd stands and cheers as Barack Obama | | | | dishonest advantages with artificial means. |
| strides to the podium. One of his aids fires up the | | | | For this reason we also have to look at other |
| teleprompter and Obama begins his speech... | | | | parts of the game as well. Some players can hit a |
| Good morning, everybody. Please be seated. | | | | baseball 500 feet while others may top out at |
| Thank you all for being here. Throughout the | | | | hitting a ball 350 feet. Players who are unable to |
| history of baseball, there have many crises - The | | | | hit a ball over 400 feet will be allowed to use |
| black Sox scandal in 1919, the strike year of | | | | metal bats. Players who attempt to steal a base |
| 1994. Today we face a crisis in the sport of | | | | or try to stretch a single into a double will be |
| baseball unlike any we have ever seen. | | | | suspended. Stealing bases puts undo pressure on |
| We don't know which players are on steroids. The | | | | both pitchers and catchers and awards the |
| price of tickets has become unaffordable to the | | | | accidental advantages that some players have for |
| average person. Some teams cannot compete | | | | being faster than their cohorts. |
| and have to get by with small payrolls while other, | | | | With these rule changes that I am proposing, |
| more greedy teams, steal the resources | | | | thousands of new jobs will open up to people who |
| necessary to be competitive while the fans of | | | | previously had no hope of ever playing in the |
| these poorer teams live in despair with no hope in | | | | major leagues. Therefore it will be incumbent upon |
| the current season and no future to look forward | | | | baseball to seek out new cities for new teams in |
| to. The horrific state of baseball education has | | | | order that all the players who were previously |
| resulted in players not running out ground balls or | | | | shut out from the game find a place to play. I am |
| pop ups and has now put us behind Japan and | | | | today putting forth an executive order that |
| Korea in baseball knowledge and skills. | | | | baseball expand from 30 to 46 teams in order to |
| Quite frankly, the state of baseball is a mess. | | | | provide the necessary opportunities needed for all |
| Owners of major league teams have put their | | | | the players who will now have the right to play. |
| own selfish needs of winning above the good of | | | | I must now take a moment to speak about the |
| the sport. Major League baseball has had a win at | | | | competitive aspects of baseball. I believe that the |
| all costs attitude. It has encouraged trickery and | | | | rules of baseball were motivated by a sincere |
| deception and instead of representing all that is | | | | desire to create a competitive and honest game. |
| good about America, it has represented all of | | | | But I also believe that all too often the writers of |
| America's mistakes. As my wife Michelle has told | | | | baseball rules made decisions based on fear rather |
| me, "It has become a mean game." That ends | | | | than foresight; that all too often they trimmed |
| today. Starting today, owners, players and fans | | | | facts and evidence to fit ideological predispositions. |
| must ask themselves not what is good for their | | | | Instead of creating a game based on our |
| team but what is good for the well being of the | | | | principles, too often they set those principles aside |
| sport. | | | | as luxuries and too many of us -- Democrats and |
| For this reason I have worked with my economic | | | | Republicans, politicians, journalists, and citizens -- |
| team and leaders of both parties on a plan to | | | | fell silent. In other words, we went off course. |
| meet the most urgent challenges in major league | | | | And this is not my assessment alone. It was an |
| baseball. The plan that I will outline today | | | | assessment that was shared by my Secretary of |
| represents not just new policy for baseball, but a | | | | State, Hillary Clinton, who is a Yankees fan. |
| whole new approach for the game and for | | | | We have pitchers throwing inside at hitters with |
| meeting its most urgent challenges. I understand | | | | no regard for what might happen if that pitch hits |
| that some might be skeptical of this plan. I get it. | | | | the batter and the harm that the pitch might |
| I do not want to run Major League baseball. I | | | | cause. We have runners trying to break up double |
| have enough to do running the banks, car | | | | plays going into second base without taking into |
| manufacturers and oil companies. | | | | account the well being of the shortstop or the |
| While Washington will do everything possible to | | | | second baseman on the other side of the play. |
| prevent the catastrophic failure of Major League | | | | We have fans hating each other. Red Sox fans |
| baseball, it will come with a clear understanding | | | | hating Yankees fans. Mets fans hating Phillies fans. |
| that government support for any team is an | | | | In fact, even Phillies fans hate Phillies fans. Hatred |
| extraordinary action that must come with | | | | and the desire to do harm will have no place in |
| significant restrictions on the sport and on the | | | | the game of baseball. Tonight I seek a new |
| individual teams that receive support. Changes to | | | | beginning between the owners, players and fans |
| the sport must begin in Washington. Only | | | | around the world; one based upon mutual interest |
| government can break the vicious cycles that | | | | and mutual respect; and one based upon the truth |
| have crippled the game. Baseball must set an | | | | that the interests of different fans are not |
| example in creating a clean energy economy. | | | | exclusive, and need not be in competition. Instead, |
| For this reason, night games will be a thing of the | | | | they overlap, and share common principles - |
| past. Baseball teams will be allowed one night | | | | principles of justice and progress; tolerance and |
| game per week. By this one action we will save | | | | the dignity of all human beings. |
| as much energy as we would acquire by drilling in | | | | Now let me be blunt. There are no neat or easy |
| ANWAR. In addition, major league stadiums must | | | | answers here. I wish there were. But I can tell |
| immediately stop the wasteful practice of | | | | you that the wrong answer is to pretend like this |
| watering the field and the infield dirt. We can live | | | | problem will go away if we maintain an |
| with a weed or two in the outfield and a bit of | | | | unsustainable status quo. As President, I refuse to |
| dust kicking around in the infield. Baseball must be | | | | allow this problem to fester. I refuse to pass it on |
| at the forefront of environmental responsibility. | | | | to somebody else. It is my responsibility to solve |
| Electronic scoreboards and video screens running | | | | the problem. The people elected me president. |
| throughout the stadium are also wasteful. I am | | | | We won the election. John McCain lost the election. |
| recommending today that baseball return to the | | | | Yet as Senator McCain once said, torture "serves |
| days of a person sitting inside a scoreboard | | | | as a great propaganda tool for those who recruit |
| manually changing the numbers. Not only will this | | | | people to fight against us." |
| help the environment, but it will create thousands | | | | So what does that have to do with major league |
| of jobs. New stadiums built must be retrofitted | | | | baseball? In baseball stadiums around the country |
| with windmills and solar panels so that to the | | | | fans boo players who make mistakes, players |
| extent that energy is used, it will all be self | | | | commit acts that can hurt one another, they try |
| generated. Existing stadiums have one year to | | | | to steal bases and humiliate the other team. They |
| comply with adding solar panels and windmills to | | | | do things such as bunt, which causes a third |
| their structure. | | | | baseman to second guess himself. He wonders |
| And then there is the issue of travelling in baseball. | | | | "Should I play in?" "Should I play back?" And if, in |
| It is incredibly wasteful and bad for the | | | | fact, the hitter bunts, the third baseman is forced |
| environment that teams charter their own planes | | | | to rush in to catch the ball, often without even |
| to fly all over the country. Again, baseball must, | | | | enough time to catch the ball in his glove, he has |
| as the great American institution that it is, set an | | | | to catch it with his bare hand and try to throw it |
| example. Teams will no longer have the luxury to | | | | to first off balance and awkwardly, risking injury |
| charter planes to go to all over the country. | | | | to himself and humiliation to his family. Today I |
| Teams will need to travel on commercial flights | | | | am ordering the closing of any baseball stadium |
| already scheduled. If a team is unable to get all its | | | | that allows these practices to continue. |
| members on one flight then the team can travel | | | | For the reasons I just mentioned and many |
| in two or three different flights. It can be possible | | | | others, I am extremely proud today to appoint Al |
| that a team may get to its scheduled game and | | | | Gore as my new baseball czar. Mr. Gore will |
| all of its players have not arrived yet. For this | | | | oversee the spending of money by major league |
| reason I am proposing that major league rosters | | | | teams. All expenditures by major league teams |
| expand to 35 players. This way, more jobs will be | | | | will need to be approved by my new czar. No |
| created and it will be unlikely that the team will | | | | team will be allowed to spend more than any |
| arrive at its scheduled game without enough | | | | other team and all signings of players and |
| players. | | | | coaches, as well as hot dog vendors and ushers, |
| The idea of creating more jobs is an important | | | | will need approval from the baseball czar. The |
| part of this baseball stimulus package. Baseball has | | | | days of deception and cruelty in baseball are over. |
| become a game of selfishness, where only a few | | | | The days of the strong teams praying on the |
| of the millions who try out for it, get to play on | | | | weak teams are over. People elected me for |
| the highest level. One of the causes of this is the | | | | change, not to maintain the status quo. In baseball, |
| pitch known as the curveball. There are players | | | | the strong too often have dominated the weak, |
| who have been stars in high school and stars in | | | | and too often those with speed, power, or the |
| college. Yet when they try out for the major | | | | ability to throw harder or trick their associates |
| leagues, they are excluded because they are | | | | have found all manner of justification for their |
| unable to hit this deceptive pitch. Baseball should | | | | own privilege in the face of the disadvantages of |
| not be about deception and exclusion. The rules of | | | | others. |
| the game, itself, must change to be more | | | | I am proposing a win-win situation for baseball. I |
| inclusive and fair to the people who desire to play. | | | | believe with every fiber of my being that in the |
| There will be no more curveballs in baseball, period. | | | | long run we cannot return baseball to its former |
| Now there are some pitchers who throw over 95 | | | | glory unless we enlist the power of our most |
| MPH. Others throw at 86 to 88 MPH. Thus comes | | | | fundamental values. I am going to make the |
| the need for trickery on the part of the pitcher | | | | game a beacon of environmental responsibility. I |
| who, through no fault of his own, is not able to | | | | will eliminate the need for anyone to ever try |
| throw the ball as hard. Currently, the pitcher's | | | | steroids because the rules of the game do not |
| mound is 60 ft, 6 inches from home plate. | | | | encourage it. I will create hundreds of thousands |
| Starting today, there will be three rubbers on the | | | | of new jobs. I will create a game where fans in all |
| pitcher's mound. For those pitchers who throw 93 | | | | cities have hope that their team can win a |
| MPH and harder, they will need to use the rubber | | | | championship, where good will and mutual respect |
| that is 70 feet from home plate. Pitchers who | | | | define the game, not hatred and the desire to do |
| throw the ball at 90 to 93 MPH get to use the | | | | harm. How can anyone be against this plan? |
| current rubber of 60 feet, 6 inches. Those who | | | | We will not be united and safe if major league |
| are less fortunate, get to use the rubber that is | | | | baseball continues as a wedge that divides |
| 59 feet from home plate. | | | | America -- it can and must be a cause that unites |
| Not only will this policy create more jobs in | | | | us as one people and as one nation. We've done |
| baseball, eliminate the need for deceptive pitches | | | | so before in times that were more perilous than |
| such as the curveball, it will also eliminate the need | | | | ours. We will do so once again. |
| for one of the scourges of major league baseball | | | | Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the |
| -- steroids. There will be no need for any player | | | | United States of America. |