4 Words That Changed My Life - "I Want a Divorce"

The scoreboard reads the following... bottom ofthere are moments when I strongly feel that if I
the 9th, bases loaded, 2 outs, 3 balls and twocan just give up and move to Jamaica all would
strikes. You are up to bat and the weight of thebe great. Nonsense, departing in the midst of a
entire season is on your shoulders. You strike out,turbulent time is like rationalizing jumping out of an
the season is over, you get a hit and the runairplane simply because it's experiencing turbulence.
scores from 3rd sending your team to the WorldAll things might seem fine when you step out of
Series. No pressure right? Ya, right, pressure likethe plane but soon you realize that you were
you have never felt before would be a bettermuch safer in your seat with your seatbelt
way to describe it. As I sit and watch the baseballfastened. The same principle applies to our difficult
playoffs this 2008 season, I sit in astonishment attimes. Sure, giving up and jumping out might be
the abilities of these athletes. Some of them havebliss for a while, but in the long, and sometimes
what it takes to answer the pressure of theshort run, it all catches up to you. We have all
moment and others seem to get caught up in theheard the old adage, "The grass is rarely greener
moment and fail to perform.on the other side", well, it's not. Your circumstance
Well, you may never stand in a batter's boxis there for a reason. If you fail to endure, you
awaiting the pitch that will determine your team'slose the opportunity to reap the rewards. You
future, but you might be in the proverbial batter'ssee, I believe that by enduring, we are prepared
box of life. You see, there are times in life wherefor the next step along the way. If we think of
you feel the equivalent or more pressure. Youour lives like a stair case, every step allows the
feel like it's the bottom of the 9th and you are upnext step to be less difficult. Can you imagine a
to bat. What am you going to do, how are you35 step staircase without steps 8-25? Ya, me
going to handle the next pitch? What I would likeneither. Getting to step 26 from step 8 is
to share with you are some principles that willpossible, but you would have to go to great
assist you in your quest to hit the upcominglengths to make it happen. There is no way I
curveball.would have been able to handle what occurred in
3 principles:my life without enduring life crisis moments along
1. Embracethe way. My turbulent times allowed me the
2. Endurepreparation to endure the most difficult of times,
3. Empowerthus far. You must say to yourself "GIVING UP
#1 - Embrace It!IS NOT AN OPTION", over and over again.
So, I'm on a flight from Phoenix to Seattle theHere's what I did in the midst of my trial to
other day. The flight was a non-eventful flight, aencourage me to endure. I decided to employ
typical event these days. Plane was packed,motivators. I called them "centers'. I would place
absolutely no leg room and you were charged $1pictures of my kids all over my car, bathroom
for every breathe you needed, so it seems.mirror, walls, office, my mind, etc. Their bright
Seriously, you have no idea how bad I feel forshining, smiling faces everywhere. These smiling
the Flight Attendants. They get the brunt of soand sometimes laughing picturesque moments
much. It's not their fault their executives havewould remind me why I fight; they would give me
made decision after decision to continually stick itthe "centering" effect needed to endure that day.
to the passenger. Anyway, I digress. So the flightI would also place images of all those who I had
endured quite a bit of turbulence, more than usual.the opportunity to counsel through their difficult
As I was sitting there I was thinking, "Just get metimes. My constant encouragement to them was
off this plane". What a tremendous thought, for ato "not give up". I would think of the
moment I thought that anything would be betterconsequences that would follow my "quitting". If I
than what I was enduring, by the way, I strugglewere to give up, up all my counsel and instruction
with a severe case of vertigo, so any amount ofwould be forever hindered. Even in the darkest of
turbulence has the possibility of resulting in a visittimes, these images and memories would drive
to the lovely and pleasant smelling bathrooms. So,me to strive to endure. Then I would think, if I
as I sat back in my seat and thought "I just wantendure, I will get to have an active role in the
off the plane" the reality occurred to me, therebuilding. Same goes for you, if you endure you
momentary bliss of being relieved from thewill reap the rewards when all the dust settles. If
turbulence would be a great feeling, but, theyou run, it will catch up to you. You will have to
moments that would follow that blissful momentendure it at one point or another. My challenge to
would be devastating. Yes, I'm off the plane, butyou is to endure whatever your circumstance
now I'm falling 34,679 feet to my doom. Not amight be, now! Don't give up! Stay connected to
very wise choice, to be sure.your center and keep your hand to the plow.
Now, sure this thought pattern seems a bitAnother old adage... "Things will be better in the
outlandish, but the principles are solid. Sometimesend, if they are not better, then it's not the end".
life is a bit turbulent, we feel the answer to all theEndure!
turbulence is to escape it. Well that's just simply#3 - Empower it!
not true. The only way to get through theSo after we have embraced and are beginning to
turbulence is to embrace it and hold on.endure, now it's time to empower it. Allow your
You trial is here, whether you want to be or not,circumstance to be used to bring encouragement
you are experience some dark times. Theto one who is going through a similarly difficult
moment has seized you, to deny it would be suretime. I sat across from one of my best friends
failure. I can remember when I had to embrace athe other day, we were sharing stories of life. He
huge darkness in my life. It was one of thosementioned to me that he and his wife were
things that you swear would never happen tohaving some major issues. After my heart broke
you. I always heard of these types of situationsfor him and his family knowing what might occur,
happening to people I knew. In fact, I was theI was able to use my current circumstance to
one who assisted them through their difficultshed light on his upcoming circumstance. That's
circumstances. Well, I guess it was my turn now. Iwhat it means to empower your trial. It's very
had been married for 10 years to the woman Ieasy to get caught up in the self pity movement.
wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We hadWe tend to focus our energy on the "what ifs",
the perfect life, 3 kids, great house and sustainingand the difficulties of the given circumstance.
career. I was on top of the world. Then out ofWhat you are enduring is happening for a reason.
the blue I was introduced to the 4 words thatYou are being strengthened for a purpose. I
have forever changed my life "I want a divorce".firmly believe that nothing is coincidental. The trial
Have you ever heard those words before? Therethat you are enduring can be used to assist
it was, my moment, over the next 12 months Iothers find hope and encouragement. Don't let it
had several individual moments where giving updefeat you. Ask yourself on a regular basis, how
and walking out of the batter's box seemed to bemight what I'm going through be used to counsel
the easy way out. I had to daily and still to thisor assist others. It's amazing what happens when
day, embrace my reality. There is no amount ofyou help others in the midst of difficult times.
denial that will make the trial go away. There isYour burden becomes lighter, your outlook on life
nothing I can do or say to change thebrightens. You begin to see the light at the end of
circumstances. The results of the divorce are alsothe tunnel. You regain confidence that you are
out of my hands. My role in this game is tovaluable and the current trial doesn't define you,
embrace it and allow it to make me a betterrather you begin to learn that what you do with
person. By embracing the circumstance I am ablethe trial defines you. My experiences are real,
to be a better father, co-worker, son, brotherthere are times when I felt like giving up and
and friend. I have to realize that though I didn't'along would come someone who needed an ear
choose this predicament, I must and I mean mustor shoulder to lean on. I could barely stand on my
perform for the sake of my team. If I decided toown two feet, but would do what I could help,
give up and deny this curveball I would be foreverthe end result wasn't the termination of my trial
be viewed as a quitter, weak and a detriment torather it allowed me the foresight to see the
my kids. Whatever it is that currently entanglespotential.
you, embrace it. What does it mean to embraceCan you imagine if the baseball player just up and
it? Simply put, to embrace it is to accept it asleft the batter's box? He decides that the
your own. This is your time, this is your moment,pressure is too great and he doesn't want to be
good, bad, positive, negative, hurtful, joyful, etc.there anymore. He would be forever viewed by
You can't afford to deny it. If you deny it, youhistory as a failure. Maybe you are facing the
forfeit the right to rejoice with the outcome. Thisdarkest of your days thus far. You find yourself
is yours. It's imperative to embrace the momentfacing...Unemployment, foreclosure, divorce, death
and perform to the best of your ability.of a loved one, financial crisis, or business
#2 - Endure itstruggles. Whatever your circumstance, there is
After you have made the conscious decision tohope! There is an end to the hurt. It's coming! It
embrace the trial you must endure to reap themight take longer than you would like, but its
benefits. Sure, there were moments and continuecoming. In the meantime, embrace, endure and
to be moments where I want to turn and runempower your trial and you will notice a dramatic
from all the circumstances of my situation. Yes,benefit.